It was late. I thought I was the only one around and was disappointed to hear footsteps that told me I was not. I asked myself, who dare interrupt my solitude and seek my terrible company without an appointment.
Whoever it was, might well be someone I didn't want to see at this late hour. Maybe a masochist or a sadist, intent on doing harm. Probably what I deserved and would be how I would end up. Bludgeoned by an intruder.
"Hello there...is anyone here."
I thought I heard a vaguely familiar voice but had no urge to reply. If he wanted me, let him find me crouched in this dark corner booth, huddled over my laptop, cold and out of touch with reality, the biggest loser in all of Egypt Valley.
I had lost my husband, the best man in the entire world, my only possession worth anything. My only reason for living. No where in the mass of
accounting surrounding me is his worth as a human being ever recorded.
I wanted to shout out to the intruder,
"Yeah, come on make my day! Completely remove my will to live. Put it in some far away place where I can never find it again."
The sound of footsteps came closer and I wondered why I was still crouched down and hoping the darkness would conceal me. If I wanted to end it all, why was I trying to make even a feeble attempt to save my life?
"Don't worry I have only come to help you. You asked for me last night, called out for me to take you away, away from all of your pain."
I thought to myself, what the hell, it's the best
promise I have had in a long time. Come and
get me foolish man, immerse yourself in my pain if
you must. You will wish you stayed home.
A hand came from out of the darkness and began
to pet my head as a body plopped down next to me
in what sounded like total resignation.
Why would he sit down next to a zombie puppet with no life in her? What could this pathetic being with no common sense possibly want from me? I wasn't even up to being a good lay leave alone company.
He reached over and placed my hand on his cock, I could feel it growing. He kissed my neck and ears and then my mouth. For a long time, he kept right on kissing until I heard a moan. It was my moan, but at first I didn't feel connected to it, even recognize it as my own.
Lifting up my head he tenderly laid it on his lap and carefully undressed me placing my clothes in a neat pile on the booth's table top. Then he methodically removed his own clothes and placed them next to mine.
I felt nothing as I watched him, only a vague curiosity as to why he would go to all this bother.
I liked feeling curious. It made my ball of pain seem less acute more like a cat's hair ball that would in due time be spit up in chunks. I guess it was a distraction. A pain blocker.
He held my cold body close. What for, I wasn't sure and didn't care. His eyes were heavy and soon I found mine were also as I drifted off into a peaceful dream like sleep.
When I awoke it was morning. I was not surprised to see he was gone only that his presence lingered and stayed with me through out the day. It felt like a phantom limb, about to reattach itself, to miraculously merge with my body.
When it came time for bed, instead of collapsing into the corner booth to catch up on my daily accounting, I went home, showered and climbed beneath clean sheets.
I tried to go to sleep but found I could not. Before long I heard his footsteps approaching as they had the night before.
This time he called out to me right away.
"I have returned to be with you for still another night, do not be afraid."
This time, Instead of feeling nothing my heart skipped a beat and I felt my body longing to feel the warmth of his.
His hands soon made their way under my covers and caressed my naked body. Unlike the night before, he did not need to take his clothes off. He was ready for me. With one hand he removed his terry cloth robe and crawled in beside me all naked damp and fresh, as if he had just taken a shower.
Unceremoniously he took me in his arms and all that had been dead in me for so long, came alive. In his arms I no longer felt like a zombie in a deserted barren desert. I felt like a woman who was very much alive. A desirable woman who wanted to fuck all night long and never stop.
The next morning I could not determine if the events of the past two days were a dream or if they were real,
but I felt "awakened" to the possibilities of a new life.
I made my coffee and grabbed a legal pad out of my
brief case. I felt like I wanted to write myself a letter
but wasn't sure about what. Deciding to forget it, I tried to put the pen down but found I could not.
The pen took on a life of its own and I found myself
writing automatically. I ended up with the following note that I keep with me all the time as a reminder that I have begun an exciting new chapter in my life.
Dear Madison,
For too long now you have felt that had you made me
go to the doctor sooner, I would have lived. That my
death was somehow your fault. You must believe me
when I tell you it was not. It was simply my time to go.
I want you to get on with your life and be happy. End
this unnecessary and prolonged grieving.
Please do this for me, be happy and love again, then I will rest in peace. I will always love you and treasure our time together.
Awake and release,
John
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Submitted by:
Madison
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