"Please talk to me baby," My voice breaks the silence of the night, I'm outside my house, sitting on my porch with a bottle of rum in one hand and a cigarette in the other. The neighborhood is quiet is at 2 am and all porch lights but mine were off. The rum kept my insides warm but I could still see my breath, and if I could see my nose, it was probably bright red.
Who was I talking to? No one. She wasn't there, she was never going to be here again. But I talk anyway, thinking: What's the harm? I take another swig of the rum and a drag from my cigarette, a habit I recently picked up since she...she left. "I miss you," slurring the words together it sounded more like, "I mizzou." A fresh batch of tears well up in my eyes and I sigh, feeling pathetic.
"I miss you too." Her voice comes from the shadows and what's left of my heart jumps out of my chest. She steps oout of the darkness and into the light and I see...my love. Standing in green chucks, jeans and her tight black jacket, a red beanie atop her head; she is what I've longed for.
"Wha- what are you d-d-doing here?" I can't help my stutter, I'm so suprised she is here and am shaking violently. She steps onto my porch and I see that she is just as shaky as I.
"I know-." She pauses, her beautiful voice stuck for a moment. "I know I shouldn't be here. "I can't stop." She runs her hands up and down her sides before they move up to her face and start digging. "I can't stop thinking about you. I can't sleep. I can't eat. Everything I do, no matter what, you slip into my mind."
I get up and put my hands over hers, moving them away from her face so she doesnt scratch herself too badly. Being this close to her hurts as much as it please me and I force the word CONTROL to keeping blinking like a neon sign in my mind.
She looks directly in my eyes, not letting my gaze stray and I say, "I'm bad, I'm very bad. I kissed you, I shouldn't have done that. I told you I loved you, I shouldn't have admitted to that. I-" Her lips meet mine and the kiss is so dizzying I completely forgot what I was trying to say. My hands wrap around her waist and I close the space between us. We share this sacred moment for only a precious while before she gently breaks the kiss. She rests her forehead on mine and breathes hard. I continue to hold her, wanting her to lean on me, give in to me.
She sighs, whispering my name, "Coos."
"Coos."
"Coos."
A violent shake runs through my shoulder and I jolt awake. My cigarette is burned down and the bottle is 3/4 empty. I look up and see my roommate, Ant, staring down at me.
"You okay Coos?"
His voice is not hers, his body is not hers. She is gone, vanished- A dream.
"I'm fine," I whisper, taking another swig of rum.
He isn't convinced. I feel the bottle being pried out of my hand and Ant is pulling my arm. "Come on, let's get you to bed." I tell him I will, just a minute, and he goes inside, counting the literal 60 seconds.
Standing up, I look into the darkness and clearly, calmly, say,
"Come to me baby...
Come to me."
Turning around I go inside, say goodnight to Ant, and go to bed. Lying naked, the soft pink glow of my nightlight bathing me. I stare up at the ceiling.
Come to me.
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Submitted by:
alwayswanting
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