How many marriages have happened where either the woman or man later discovered that a basic sexual incompatibility existed that was not known until the honeymoon?
I am reminded of a poignant story that happened to a friend of mine seven years ago.
She was a dynamic real estate investor who quite unexpectedly met a handsome charismatic inventor sitting on a bar stool one fateful night while she sang "Bright Lights and Promises" at a local piano bar. Not many people grasp the meaning of the song, but she could tell he did. She poured her heart out to him. It was a joint effort. Her singing and his active listening.
Afterwords he approached her and offered to buy her a drink but was turned down. She smiled and said,
"Thank you but no, I don't drink."
Guys approaching her like this was nothing new and she wanted to get rid of him. It was her night out to sing and be with old friends. She didn't want to be bothered with bull shit from patrons in the bar on the make. She had given him her best at the mic and he had given her, his rapt attention. That should be enough.
But it wasn't, next song up he stopped her and insisted she join him for at least a lime and soda. She did so to be gracious but said only for a couple of minutes. Told him she was an investor and had invented a few things. He said he was also
and had a number of patents.
Didn't take long before they began talking about "Atlas Shrugged" a novel they both not only loved, but lived.
Little did they know at the time the powerful influence its author had upon their ultimate destiny.
Soon she had to leave for a midnight Agape Meeting that she chaired for a self-help group. "
When they shook hands and said goodbye he asked,
"May I come with you?"
Flustered she stammered, "I don't ride in cars with strangers, but you can follow me over if you'd like. The gathering is is open to all singles. Mostly liberals but I try to overlook that and remember they do get some things right...."
He laughed:
"I will follow you, no problem.
Just don't drive too fast or I will lose you."
At break the kids pouring coffee teased her.
"Where did you find HIM?"
Being flip she laughed and said,
"In a bar, where else!"
The lit candles all over the floor with lonely bodies holding hands created a longing in both of them.
Rather than try and say goodnight again they agreed to meet over at the nearby Denny's for breakfast. They talked non-stop until the wee hours of the morning and then made it to her church for the early Sunday service. Afterwords exhaustion set in and they limply shook hands and exchanged phone numbers promising to do it all again someday soon.
He called her Monday night. They again talked long into the night. it was becoming obvious that their relationship was a lit fire cracker with a very long fuse.
Before hanging up they wondered out loud what to do with this unexpected time consuming obsession. They knew they had a hold of something powerful but were not sure they wanted it.
Neither of them could imagine taking the time and energy needed to form a new friendship, leave alone a romantic relationship.
My friend was tired of the dating scene. A while back she had decided to give it a rest and NOT get involved with anyone for a at least a year. He on the other hand was recovering from a debilitating accident and barely had enough energy to take care of his many ongoing business projects related to his inventions.
Fascinated by this man's mind she decided he was far too good to lose in the shuffle.
That week she devised a practical plan that would allow them to spend time together to work on her singles board game she had patented and planned to soon market for anyone wanting to avoid the usual pitfalls of partnerships.
That following Friday my friend met her Prince Charming at Denny's for lunch. She asked him to sign a confidentiality agreement and then invited him to a exploratory meeting the next day.
As she presented her business plan to him, he listened intently and kept sighing and repeating,
"Fascinating...."
Even before she was through it was apparent he was alive with excitement about her invention. He recognized the genius and money making potential of her business plan. Predicting it would be a hot product he then asked how he could help or be involved.
By the end of the meeting he agreed to be her "guinea
pig" and abide by all the rules of the "Alternative Game". The purpose of the experiment would be to explore the practical applications of the game. Would it in reality accomplish its intended purpose - would it be a valid tool to help facilitate the "Growing of a Relationship" rather than let it sloppily develop as many tend to do? She offered to pay him a small consulting fee for his time and input if he lasted the
entire 90 days. He didn't want it but she insisted.
They decided that the type of "relationship" could take any form during the 90 days it was to be played so long as the WRITTEN RULES were abided by.
To be eligible to play the game he had to agree to play by the rules she had set up which demanded equal contributions on a daily basis.
Essentially either one could end the game by not doing his or her simple "duties" on any one given day. In other words, when she made a "date" with him, she decided where it would be and bore all expenses. Like wise, the next day it would be his turn to initiate a date and absorb the cost. This HAD to happen even if it was simply a phone meeting when one or the other was unavailable.
The game would end - be over for good - if within the 90 period either person dropped out because of a violation of the rules or by default. At the end of the 90 days, the form of the relationship would be determined: Business Partners, Friends, Lovers, or Marital Partners. Or it could be a combination
of any of them.
One of the major rules was that no sex was allowed
throughout the 90 day period.
After a certain amount of time (if they mutually agreed that their relationship was headed for romance) "above the waist" kissing, hugging and fondling would be allowed as long as no petting transpired and
undies were not removed. (Just discussing this part of the business plan was so erotic that they nearly
ripped up the contract and jumped into bed.)
Well to make a long story short, this was a sizzling hot relationship and a difficult 90 day contract to abide by.
After the contract was up, they were convinced that their relationship was made in heaven and a rare find.
That said, they made the decision to wait until after they were married to have sex, to keep the "carrot on the stick" and allow more time for her fiancee's body to completely heal from his accident.
The "rest of the story" was a surprise to both of them:
It seems their "ideal" marriage was NEVER consummated in the usual sense of the word.
At first they attempted to go through the motions
but 99% of the time he had a headache or was so turned off by his lack of interest in sex that she would jack off by herself much to his relief.
Like the old Peggy Lee song, "Is That All There Is"
she couldn't accept that this wonderful relationship would have everything in life that she had ever desired EXCEPT for a rich and full- filling sexual relationship.
He finally convinced her that given another 6 months to a year he would be fully recovered and once again he'd want sex. She believed he needed only enough time to get his health back and then (as he was fond of saying) he would be like a college boy again with enough drive to make love to her 2 or 3 times a night.
"For God's sake, please do not make me go to a sex therapist. There is nothing wrong with me that a little more rest for this aching body won't cure..."
He could not explain it but made it clear to my friend, that if she forced him to face such a fate, he would surely lose his will to live. She hugged him and told him she would never force him to do anything. As deep as her grief ran, her heart ached for him more than for herself.
Six months came and went. He begged for more time.
After 5 years - she found it didn't matter to her anymore. She still loved him but no longer had any desire for sex - with him or anyone else. It was as if she had dried up, grown old and fate had tattooed a notes all over her body that said: "Not Available - to Anyone Anywhere."
That's where I came in. And not on purpose. I happened to be at a social function that my friend and her husband hosted.
She knew I was a sex therapist but he did not.
We sure didn't plan it that way, but later on when I met him for the first time, I instantly became so turned on by him it blew my mind right along with my Ivy League training that cautioned to never become personally involved in questionable relationships.
All I could think of was how I could get him in to bed.
Not for me (I told myself) but for the 2 of them. However, I knew in my heart that I was on fire, not for the 2 of them, but for him alone.
Yet I was determined to find away that would not violate my sense of right and wrong or search for a lame excuse to justify my hot intense desires for this giant of a man with the body of a Greek God, and features that could stop birds in flight and make babies smile. His crystal clear blue eyes, his aristocratic roman nose, and full lush lips made me wondered what the size of his cock would be and how it would feel in me and what I could do to get it to grow hard.
Putting the breaks on these tantalizing images I found my progressive friend hoping she was still as broad minded as I had remembered her in college:
"What would you think of my screwing your husband?"
She laughed out-loud and said, "You've got to be kidding! You know from our gab sessions what his problems are..."
"Yes, but did it ever occur to you that maybe he just doesn't like you "in that way"? That maybe it's like the NYT best seller says, "That He's Just Not In To You?"
As beautiful and desirable as you are, maybe you don't turn him on -how about if you let me give it a try - see if he would react differently with me?"
"Be my guest! She said. "You know how much I love him but I gave up long time ago! Couldn't take it anymore."
"You're sure Sister?"
She sighed:
"I am sure. If you succeed It might hurt my ego for a few days but I could get over it. Besides, it might restore his confidence. Maybe he could then find joy with ME -or at the least - with SOMEBODY! Promise to be gentle with him, I can't stand the thought of him being hurt.
"You know I will. With you too. You have been my friend for years. I will not betray your trust.
With that out of the way I felt lighter and sought out my significant other who was walking towards me.
"Hey, I got a proposition for you? I need help - would you be open to me having sex with a needy stranger? He turns me on, but I'd also being doing it for the sake of his horny wife who is a good friend. Also I can use what I find out for my thesis. Look at it's primary purpose as being relevant to my on going experimentation and research.
"What the hell you talking about!"
"I am talking about truth and honesty!"
For the next hour I laid it all out. It wasn't easy but he finally and reluctantly agreed to let me participate, and gave me permission to attempt to seduce my friend's husband.
The hard part done I relaxed.
Long story short: mission was accomplished.
Her husband and I made mad passionate love for a week at an exotic resort. He went home.
I went home. Last time I checked their love life was great and the four of are planning a reunion come next spring.
|
Submitted by:
Babe
view profile
|
You have new unread mail messages!
Click here for your Inbox!
