I had moved on, started a new life in a state miles from where my life had taken a turn and in some ways had ended. The house that I had purchased was small Cape Cod at the end of a road in a lovely quiet community. It was old dating back to 1972 but had been cared for by its previous owner. On moving it, I felt the same warm welcoming that I had felt the day that I had been shown the house by the real estate agent. I knew that this would be my home...my home, now after losing my last one. James, the love of my life my soul mate had passed away after a brief illness, so we didn't have the time to say the goodbyes, and there were no children. So when he was cremated all of my attachments to him were gone. As I unpacked what little I had brought with me, having sold or given away our things keeping only what I had considered precious, I heard a knock at the front door. Putting down the stack of plates I was holding I went to the door and opened it after checking the peephole. It was mid-day on a beautiful spring day, and all of my neighbors were out and about it so I assumed that it might be one of my neighbors coming to welcome me to the neighborhood. It was, and when I opened the door, I forgot how to speak for a moment. I just stood there looking at him and then I closed my eyes to shut out the vision in front of me. No, it can't be happening again...the voice ... those eyes and...
"Are you ok," a deep masculinity voice said or rather asked.
Closing my eyes and praying that when I hoped them, I wouldn't see or hear what I had lost.
"Hi I am Rachel," I said shaking my head as I opened my eyes with mixed feeling to see the vision had gone. I stood there looking up at him with the sunlight acting as a backdrop for him. Give or take a few years; it could be... him. It was then as a soft breeze touched my cheek like a long finger caress and sent the material of my over side tee shirt to do the same to my nipples that I realized what I was wearing. Confused, ashamed and now embraced I had forgotten that I had dressed for housework in a long college tee shirt, old fade black legging with my dark brown wild curly hair doing it thing, I must look a sight and not in the right way. He stepped out of the sunlight to into my doorway, and I could see that the eyes so large and dark in a handsome sun-kissed face didn't seem to think so. He looked me over from my bare feet with red painted toenails to the wild mass of curls on the top of my head. Then he gave me a smile that set all of my lady parts to tingling. I caught myself from reveling in the feeling; it had been so long even before he had gotten sick. Glancing up, I saw that he was still smiling but with a look of...something in his eyes that vanished when he realized I saw it. He was a very handsome man I thought as my body echoed softly with the tingle of remembrance of those feelings of attraction.
"Oh, I am sorry I am kind of scatterbrained at the moment," trying to hide my admiration.
"I was just asking if you needed help with anything...The owner kept the property up so I don't think there can be much wrong with it...that requires fixing he said as if he was going to say something else instead.
"Oh no it wonderful and it just right amount of space for me and maybe a dog. I'm thinking about getting one," rambling on trying to think of a way to hide that I hadn't bothered to put on a bra. I don't know why I didn't put one on this morning as I have too much to wander around without...I was mentally slapping myself for the oversight.
"Well, I have a friend who runs a kennel and a few of her client's dogs have had litters."
Then the largest Pitbull I have ever seen came between us and sat down. She was beautiful; her fur a mixture of blue-grey and her bone structure was impressive. I held my hand out or her without thinking she shifted and then licked it. After that, it was all rubs and pats between us, while James looked on smiling.
"This is Gracie, and she likes you, strange because she's not that friendly. I am keeping her for a while for the former renter who uses to live here...
"If they don't come back can I have her?" I asked not sure why I did, but I knew Gracie, and I should be together.
"If they don't and get Gracie...ok you can have her, but you have to know she is a handful," James said now getting down to where Gracie and I had a rubbing petting fest. Then she started it in on the kiss, and we all ended on the floor in a heap of arms legs and a wagging tail and more laughter then I have had since my husband's death. After James and Gracie left with a promise to come out for a walk with them later, I went back to working on unpacking my belongings.
As I went through the last box marked living room, I found the photo album, and with no hesitation, I opened it to a picture of my husband and me just before he became ill. He was a tall, handsome viral man who was twenty years my senior. We had met the day I walked into his lecture and left a few minutes after realizing that I was in the wrong one. I remember him looking at me as I stood to go and it was then that in spite of the obvious I noticed his way of getting attention or at least mine. He made me feel as if I was the only person in a lecture hall that held over sixty students.
"I am sorry I just realize that this isn't the lecture that I am supposed to be in," I said in a rush trying to cover my embarrassment and make good my exit, but Dr. James Ryan McQueen was having none of that.
He gestured with a way of his hand for me to come down to him, by now it seems like the whole lecture was watching up as I slipped back to reality out of his control. Walking down the steps careful trying not to trip to add to my embarrassing moment he met me half way. Taking the class schedule from my hand, James looked it over, but now I now know he was looking me over.
"Ohh ok yes you are right, this isn't your lecture, yours has been moved, and I see that you hadn't been notified. Don't worry you have loads of company in that. Just go out the door and down the hall to this lecture room he said taking out his pen and writing on my schedule. Then folding it, he gave it back to me and went down the steps without a backward glance at me to start his lecture.
Thankful for the out I all but ran out of the room with the need to make it to my lecture on time. Once find the lecture room which was easy I took a seat in the back of the hall this time and had myself arrange to participate in the class. Just before the Professor started her lecture, I passed a glancing look at my schedule, and my heart felt like it skipped a beat. Looking around me as I took a breath making sure no one else could see I looked back at the schedule what had been written in pen on it.
"Office hours: MWF is from 4 pm to 6 pm in Sutter's Hall room 101."
I folded the paper neatly in half and stuck it back in my backpack's outer pocket. As to the lecture, I am glad it was the first day of this class, and it was for an elective since I remember nothing about it. As I walked back to my apartment, I pulled out the schedule and looked at it again. It was Monday, and it was on my way...but I am dating someone and I...by the time I had tried to reason myself out of coming to Sutter's Hall I was standing outside room 101. At this point, I raised my hand and knocked.
Come in... a muffled voice said from the other side of the door.
I opened that door the first of day of my last year in college that changed my life. Within a week we had ended relationships with others and all but moved in together. My parents were not too happy with the age difference, but James won them over. We married three days after my graduating from college, and later that month James was offered a job to teach at Cal tech in California, so we left for the west coast. For the next ten years, we were very happy in spite of the fact that we were childless. I had always wanted children, but it was not possible. It seems that James had very low sperm count and well I wanted his children. So to keep it from being painful we use to joke that we would someday get a dog and when he got sick that was forgotten. The rest even now is a blur to me, the doctors and then well his attitude toward me. James love me I knew that then as I do now, but he didn't want me near him, in fact, he found reasons to send me away, or he would go on trips without me. It stained our marriage to it breaking point sickness or no. I had checked into a divorce attorney only seeking my freedom what small assets that I had brought into the marriage figuring that he would need the money more than I did. I went home to tell him the one time that I knew he would be there only to find James passed out on the living room floor bleeding from his mouth and nose. It was at the hospital that I found out how sick he was... a massive tumor on his brain, and it was the day that he died. We never got to talk, and I never got to tell him how much I loved him. I broke down after that and lost track of time, and it wasn't until my parents came to see me after getting a call from my best friend that I got help. Now here I am sitting thousands of miles away, and years later for the first time I am seeing James again and even hearing him. I know what the truth is but, I need to this, I need it soo badly.
The doorbell rings and I go to answer, taking off the tee shirt and grabbing a tunic top with a built-in bra and slide my bare feet into sandals. I arrived at the door dressed and ready knowing that what was on the other side I couldn't keep but for now, it was ok.
"Hi, are you ready our walk," James asked as he stood in the doorway with Gracie sitting obediently at his side.
"Yes," and I smiled with my soul when I said it.
We walked from my home down to the park with the sun high and at our backs with Gracie leading us. We talked about ourselves... about us as we held hands and kissed. Those kisses did things to my body that made me cream in my legging and want to rip my clothes off and fuck right there on the path. Somehow we made it back to my home, and after getting the door unlocked, we fell into my doorway entry again in a tangle of arms and legs but without Gracie. Part of me questioned that and part of me said let it go...so I did.
James's hands touched me in a way that made me want to cry with pleasure.
"We are going to christen every room in this house before this night is over; do you hear me, Rachel?" James said as he licked the back of left knee after freeing it from my leggings.
"Looking at me, Rachel!"
I opened my eyes to see James black one looking back at me with the intensity that had me in a trance the first time I saw him. It hurt my heart to and made my soul cry to know...
Nooo, Rachel no and then he kissed me in the most intimate of ways. James' fingers had parted the lips of my wet pussy, and his finger had found what they had bad been searching for with ease. His tongue flicked once sending an electric charge through me that had every cell of my being at his command. Then he followed this with a long slow wet lick of my clit as he torn the tunic top down my body ripping into throwing it to the side to join my leggings and sandals. Now naked on the floor before his eyes with the moonlight shining through the un-curtained windows I loved up to see my husband Dr. James Ryan McQueen standing over me. I was as he slowly takes off his jeans and the black tee shirt he was wearing the last time I saw him, or maybe it was the first. It doesn't matter because it's him and that is all I need. Every year on the day of his death he comes to me, and we spent a day and a night together saying all the things that needed to have been said and to make love. I have told no one of this and I never will for they would just put me back in the hospital thinking that I was delusional again. Now naked he pulled me up into his arms and holds me to his chest, and I imagine a heartbeat that beats only for me. Wrapping my legs around his waist, I look into James's eyes and his love for me as he slowly slides his thick cock into me. It would have been hard but he has always made me very wet for him, and I moan as he exhales himself into me. At this point, I can't tell where he begins, and I end... we are one.
"I love how you claim me as yours. It is when I become all and then nothing, but who you love," I whisper against James's lips, breathing the words into his mouth as he inhales them.
"Baby, I want to love you hard and leave marks of my love in all over you. In those places only to be seen by God and I.", James whispered back as his tongue became an extension of his cock. He skillfully made love to my mouth as his cock did the same to my pussy. He held me up against the wall of my home bounding his love into me leaving room for little else.
Digging my nail into his shoulders, I started to come only to have him pull his cock and tongue from their pleasures. I screamed a moan in protest just to find myself face down over the back of my couch face down ass up. I thought one thing, but then he did something different. With his on tongue James licked down the back of my legs, then going back up them taking a bite of my flesh and holding it between his teeth almost to the point of pain. All the while he was doing this his fingers were in my pussy and ass hole doing things along with the roughness of the material that covered the couch rubbing against my nipples I was shaking, begging to for him never to stop.
Oh, James please...please don't... then a wave of my orgasm hit me like a wave in a storm hitting the shore. I lost my ability to think, and all I could do was to go with the tide into my orgasm. Somehow James got his cock into me... into my ass hole and it was like the world exploded before my eyes, and I went blind with pain and pleasure all at once. He rode my ass as I was riding the waves of my orgasm crashing under the intense pleasure and pain to drown in the blurring of it all. We made love all over my home and in the wee hours of the morning we did so in the backyard, and as the sun came up James carried me to my bed and held me until I cried myself to sleep whispering that he loved me...he loved us and that he always would.There was more, but I will let my soul hold on to that.
It was hours before I woke up to a day of rain and clouds. I reason that the day was for me with the rain and all as I had no more tears to shed. I climbed out of bed to the moans of pain and stiffness making my way to my bathroom and a warm shower. Sometime later after dressed for the day in legging and long sweater I walked out into the living room to see if it had happened like so many times before there was no evidence. As I walked to around the couch, I stopped in my tracks. Lying on the back of the couch was my clothes the ones that I had on yesterday even my sandals were there. Then I felt the words that my souls knew and that I could face now...as I had no choice and it was time. Closing my eyes, I listen to my heart let go and my soul open. I don't know how long the doorbell had been ringing, but I was able to pull myself together to answer it. Opening the door, I immediately leaped upon by a wet blue-grey blur that was half my size. Between wagging tail, licks and rubs I realized that it was Gracie.
She belongs here... a voice said from my doorway now blocking it with his rain slicker covered frame.
The man there was not very tall well not over six ft., I could tell by the way his coat opened that he was muscular by the way his white tee shirt now wet clinging to his chest.
Trying to get off the floor and untangling myself from Gracie, I missed what he said next. I stood up to face a pair of deep green eyes that was all angles with full lips and a sharp angular nose. My first thought what tribe...
"Cherokee," he said with his eyes now locked on mine.
I blushed thinking that my thoughts were showing on my face.
The eyes are an ancestral thing at some point of my ancestors had been white.
"Oh please, where did you find Gracie? I asked now wondering how we had lost her yesterday and then realizing that I hadn't thought about her until now.
"Gracie...hmm that isn't what I called I call her...
Looking back down at the blue Pitbull who was looking up at me with wagging her tail, I looked back at the man, and I guess my confusion showed on my face.
"I use to own this house, and I was stopping by to see if you needed anything...
I could tell that he started to say something else but thought better of it. At that point, I just froze, not sure what to think or do and then it came to me, or maybe he said it.
"Baby is time to let it all go...love again...
"My name is Rachel," I said now looking from Gracie's face to his.
Now the hood was off, and I could see his face clearly, and I smiled in welcome for the first time in a long time, or maybe it was the second time?
"Would you like a cup of coffee Mr....?"
"Connor, Connor Smith. I just got her, and she doesn't seem to like any of the names that I have given her, but she does like what you call her...So this is Gracie. How did you two meet, I just picked her up yesterday."
"Oh, hmm," I said with my eyes still looking into his green ones. Well, Connor, that is a long story, and I am not sure if you will believe me once I tell you," I said knowing that for some reason I think that he will, and he may even have his own story to tell.
We spent the rest of the day Connor, Gracie and I got acquainted. As I was laughing at something that Connor was telling me on my way into the kitchen to get more coffee and muffins, I felt a hug from behind, a kiss on my neck and heard his voice...
"Love again...he is here... love you... always."
"Something wrong Connor?" Connor inquired quietly from the doorway of my kitchen.
Not knowing how long he had been standing there as I turned to him. I smiled and shook my head no.
"Nothing is wrong just saying goodbye."
"Yes, it's time," Connor said kissing me softly as he took the plate of muffins, the pot of coffee, and left the kitchen. Then he started talking about a walk that we should go on after the rain... to the park with Gracie.