The first time Mariah saw the entrance to Pantages (1) she was anything but impressed. Then she stepped inside and imagined another world where everyone played with themselves on a beautiful theatrical stage while listening to their most arousing erotic fantasies. Sex toys lay on tables as stage props and life like robots romanced love starved women. It was all make-believe but she had grown adept at transposing reality into fantasy at every opportunity to sexually survive.
Mariah was amazed at the enormity of the theatre, how it made her body come alive with excitement, and how it took her breath away in sheer anticipation.
She recalled years earlier when she watched "Phantom of the Opera" and how she jumped in horror when the realistic flames came jutting out past the front row seats.
Even though she knew better, emotionally she was convinced the flames were real and not an illusion.
Mariah was trying to break her habit of continually downshifting into illusions. She was fully aware of how they messed with her mind and kept her from living fully in the now moments of her life.
It's been said "awe" should be reserved for the presence of gods; the night Mariah arrived at the theater she definitely experienced awe and eagerly embraced the six foot statue of Adonis who stood patiently waiting inside the theater entrance for anyone at all to appreciate and admire him. It occurred to
Mariah that even though statues are admired they are
cold, rigid, and lonely, living within the confines
of a structure they had no part in creating. What's
worse is they just stand there frozen in time
with no woes, cares, heartaches or no incentive to leave. It reminded her of her own situation and what someone once said, "The devil I know is better than the devil I don't know." (1B)
This trip she was staying at The Sheraton Centre on Queen Street not only because it was beautiful but because it was convenient. She liked being in the centre of Toronto's business and entertainment districts, and especially being connected to PATH, a 16-mile underground network of shops and
services only steps away from Eaton Centre, the city's well known downtown shopping mall.
Shopping and the theater district were conveniently located to her hotel and this suited her just fine. Toronto was one of the safest cities in the world but Mariah was on guard just the same having been thrown up against a car in a Detroit City mugging that for years left her more resilient but with a "conditioned response" where she was extremely jumpy and fearful.
Three of Mariah's friends planned to join her at the hotel in four days. They all looked forward to catching a new play at the magnificent "Princess of Wales Theater" where they had ten years previously seen the inspiring production of "Miss Saigon" on opening night.
Every time Mariah came to Toronto she thought about her Great-Great Aunt who almost married Prime Minister William Lyon Mackenzie King.
It was his father who became the very first mayor of the city of Toronto. Somehow that made her feel connected and rooted and far less fearful of traveling alone. She carried his picture and proudly showed it
to government officals and Anti-American's who dared close their eyes and look at her in blind contempt.
Mackenzie Kings family were from Kitchener as were her sister's husband who owned the well known. "Kitchener Chocolate Factory". Over a period of ten years Mariah's Great -Great Aunt Annie and MacKenzie "Rex" King became good friends after her older sister married the candy maker and moved to Kitchener.
The remaining sister married a tobacco farmer and moved to Tillsonburg. This afforded Annie the opportunity to visit both of them at one time
and visit with Rex in a properly chaperoned environment.
In 1921 after becoming Prime Minister he asked her father Richard for Annie's hand in marriage. She was 36 and he was 47. Her father, who was a personal friend of the Prime Minister had to tell him that although he personally approved his daughter didn't feel she was yet prepared for marriage.
For years the family spoke in hushed whispers and semi-respectful giggles that Aunt Annie was SO fussy that she even turned down the most popular Prime Minister that Canada had ever known.
This gossip was a source of great family pride and a chance to take pity on their exceptional aunt who efficiently ran the entire county. Like her brother (5) George (a famous surgeon in Van Cover, British Columbia) Annie was well educated at a time in history when it was rare for a woman to have a degree leave alone preside over males in a governmental position.
Many years after the rumored proposal, Aunt Annie's Nephew "Willie" was visiting her at the family's 1800s stone mansion near London, Ontario, Canada.
Willie, Mariah's mother, and Great Aunt Annie were having 2 PM tea in the Victorian Parlor amidst giant potted ferns positioned around the Steinway Grand Piano that had been brought to Oxford Street by a team of oxen one hundred years before.
Willie asked his Great Aunt Annie in the presence of Mariah's mother, if it were true that the Prime Minister of Canada had asked for her hand in marriage in 1921 and if so, why it was she didn't accept.
Shaking her head slowly, she sighed and looked her nephew straight in the eye saying:
"Oh Willie that is such a personal question...."
Then with a wave of her hand she replied:
"Let me put it this way dear. I could not marry, a person I did not love. I cared for Rex very much but I did not love him, therefore it would not be proper for me to marry him."
*******************
There was still plenty of light left in Mariah's first day back in Toronto - sufficient time for her to pay respects to family and get the sentimentality all over with before trying to extract pleasure somewhere with somebody to whatever extent she could.
Mariah hailed a taxi and had the driver take her to Mount Pleasant Cemetery. She wanted once again to visit relatives she had never met even though they now lay resting in their graves and could probably care less.
After she paid respects to her own kin, she walked over to the big flat granite marker on the grave of Prime Minister Mackenzie King and noted he
was born in 1874 and died in 1950.
She recalled from her genealogy research that Great-Great Aunt Annie was born in 1885 and that would have made the prime minister eleven years older than she. How ironic that now the history books record that he was quite possibly gay.
She wondered if Annie didn't somehow sense this and THAT was the real reason she declined his proposal. Now Mariah stood over his grave with a similar dilemma. She too was stuck at a crossroad that would determine her ultimate destiny in regard to sexual preference.
As Mariah stood looking down upon his grave she wondered if he or her Great- Great Aunt Annie ever regretted not getting married or if they actually led happier lives because they didn't.
Just then a good looking fashionable man (of an undetermined age) walked past Mariah with flowers in his hands; he placed them reverently at the head of a massive tombstone about ten grave-sites away from Mackenzie King's.
The man looked over to Mariah and gave her a gentle smile. She smiled back and gave him a little wave of her hand while opening up her umbrella.
The light misty rain and the dark skies indicated Toronto was in for a storm.
She hurried along the path to call a taxi from the front gate house only to find the stranger had called and one was on its way.
Introducing himself as Michael Z. Dourer he offered to share his cab downtown. It turned out that he too was staying at the Sheraton Centre.
En-route to the hotel Mariah learned Michael was in town on business and that he too was taking personal time to pay his respects to family members, five of which were buried in Mount Pleasant Cemetery.
Paying the taxi driver they walked through the entrance of the Sheraton Centre Hotel. As they said goodbye they shook hands and wished each other a happy holiday. Suddenly she realized Michael wasn't letting go of her hand.
He laughed at the look on her face and said:
"You know Mariah, it's really kinda of crazy for us to part like this. Why don't you join me for a tour of Casa Loma Castle - you know Toronto's historic landmark - then we could have dinner later. A friend of mine did the tour recently and thoroughly enjoyed it. How about it ? "
Mariah couldn't help but laugh. He was so charming and the offer seemed too good to turn down. She told him:
"Michael, you have a date! I will meet you back here in forty-five minutes. Do you think casual but dressy clothes are okay?"
He smirked and said:
"Sure, I plan to go pretty much like I am right now. Does this have your approval?"
Looking at his stylish but conservative charcoal black virgin wool slacks, his white oxford cloth button down collar dress shirt and his coordinating black and white tweed jacket, she laughed again and said:
"I think you look just great, and I have the perfect outfit to blend nicely with yours. Don't change a thing but your undies."
Michael chuckled and Mariah mentally kicked herself for being so crude; it did however make her think about what kind of underwear he wore and what was bulging beneath it. She had never seen another mans cock except in pictures and once by accident when she caught her father nude getting out of the bathtub.
******************
Meeting back in the lobby at 5:45 the two of them decided they would split the "Link's Chicken Caesar Salad" in the hotels cafe to tide them over until after taking a tour of the majestic Casa Loma Castle.
Michael said:
"Hey Mariah, if you are still up to it afterwords we could come back here to Traders Bar and Grill fora late super and then hit "After-Life's Garden of Eden" for a drink and dancing; maybe we could even go up on the roof top where I understand the view of Toronto is spectacular...."
Mariah loved the way this gorgeous man thought! Listening to him paint a colorful picture was very exciting to her mind, heart and entire body. She was surprised to find it also made her pussy ache.
She hoped he wasn't playing games with her, just making up chit chat he thought she'd want to hear.
She would rather be alone than spend time with some character who only wanted jack off mentally and leave her feeling more totally alone than ever. She'd had that all of her married life and didn't need more right now. Tonight Mariah wanted to escape to a better place than where she'd been the last two weeks.
*********************
As it turned out Mariah and Michael's "date" went well and by the time they returned to the Sheraton Hotel they were exhausted, but feeling no pain. The drinks and long hours had caught up with them and they
collapsed on the lobby's big brown leather sofa unsure of what to do next.
Barely able to keep his head up It suddenly occurred to Michael that he didn't even know what floor Mariah was on, leave alone her room number. He tried to get her to answer him but she had fallen sound asleep.
Michael looked in her purse and found the card key for her room but she had removed the paper packet that displayed the number. He was sure the front desk was not going to give it to him so he put Mariah in a wheel chair that was parked in the entrance and took her up to HIS room with the idea of letting her recover enough to be able to safely return to her own room.
Once upstairs he put her on the pull out sofa removing her shoes and jacket when he found an extra blanket and pillow.
Having been up for eighteen hours straight he decided
he'd better call it a night; he partially undressed and climbed into the bed across from the sofa.
******************
Dawn soon came and Mariah woke up in a panic.
Realizing what happened she made a dive for the bathroom, took a shower and after brushing her teeth with the guest toothpaste and brush the hotel provided, felt like she could face the world as long
as it was only two floors away from her own room.
With the towel still draped around her she bumped into Michael while trying to find her clothes to get dressed.
He gave her a quick hug and said:
"Hey Sweetie. It's my turn to use the shower. Don't leave yet I have ordered breakfast from room service and it should be here in 90 minutes. I have some business downstairs to finish but I'll be back to have breakfast with you so wait for me, huh?"
******************
Mariah thought that was kinda of neat. So far he hadn't placed any moves on her and Lord only knows he could of while she was out cold if he was that kind of guy.
She didn't want him using her but at the same time SHE sure would have liked to use HIM to get fucked - ramming her hot puffy pussy in and out of him rather than leaving it up to her vibrating dildo when she took her afternoon nap.
What a great thought - him fucking her - but she knew she wouldn't because she never did things like that.
And even if she were free from her wedding vows to do so, she wasn't sure she would. It had been a long time and she felt terribly insecure and scarred.
*****************
To say Mariah had issues about sex and sometimes felt confused was a total understatement. She thought about what Great - Grandpa used to say regarding Groucho Marx's oft quoted remark that he wouldn't want to belong to any club that would have him as a member.
The idea of being part of any man's "Club" revolted her. She felt she was too good to be part of somebody's harem. What was even scarier yet was that maybe the opposite was true - that SHE wouldn't be good enough and would be disqualified for her lack of worldly sophistication.
She knew her sex life needed resolution, she was just not sure how it would or could ever be resolved mentally or physically.
Mariah had been suffering from physical and mental exhaustion and now instead of her vacation alleviating it, all of her old baggage was hitting her hard as if it was filled with the proverbial ton of bricks.
Conflicting emotions disguised as men paraded through her stream of consciousness, raking her heart through muddy fields like primitive plowing machines preparing soil for their seed only to leave for new un-tilled fields of green to plow all over again and again.
Her eternal psyche was bouncing around in an ocean of relationship carnage with no rudder.
In the midst of her pain it occurred to Mariah that as of two weeks ago she had never known a man she could totally trust or a hard cock that didn't rule the brain.
God may have made man that way, but did he have to make her so stupid and naive that she couldn't recognize the problem?
*********************
With that final depressing thought she got up from the sofa and made a pitcher of screwdrivers by pouring a pint of vodka into the existing orange juice. Carrying it along with a glass out on to the balcony she began drinking and taking in the view of Lake Ontario while she waited for Michael to return.
Wanting a better view, Mariah climbed up to the top of the three and a half foot brick wall and sat on the ledge with her little ass half on and half off watching the tiny cars 30 stories down. She thought to herself she had a choice to live or die and ironically the acknowledgement of that fact centered her and warmed her heart.
God how she loved having a choice and being in control. There was always a way out and a way to beat the system; all she had to do was jump and it would be over; there'd be no more of the constant games with her always the loser.
She continued to think and drink from the pitcher of screwdrivers sitting on the wall while enjoying the bitter sweet taste that lent her courage. She really didn't give a shit where it was coming from or that she was in an altered state of mind. All she knew is with each sip she felt less remorse.
Suddenly Mariah found herself with a smashed glass in her hand balancing her body weight against the concrete ledge. Orange juice and vodka and blood from her hand spattered all over the front of the white towel around her naked body destroying what she felt was the only real friend she had left in the world.
Silently sobbing and gasping for breath she recognized she was close to falling over the balcony's protective retaining wall. As she looked down she felt unstable.
Usually when she got like this she'd think of others but today she didn't give a crap. They'd deal with it and in a few days go on to hurt others and blame her for their lack of sensitivity.
*******************
Mariah thought she could hear Michael calling her name. His voice seemed far away but the din in her brain above his voice was all she could hear.
She thought about being free from pain on the street below where the religious fanatics and the politically correct alike would step over her body and blame her death on bullshit. She could hear them now pissing and moaning about this and that and missing the
mark every time. She laughed and and holding her middle finger high in the air yelled out to the cars below:
"So much for you you fucking experts wrong again!"
Almost ready to fall off, Mariah suddenly felt Michael's strong arms sweeping her away to where she did not know or care. He was laughing and crying at the same time and nuzzling her neck saying:
"My beautiful Mariah are you crazy or what? What the hell were you thinking of sitting on that ledge? You gonna do crazy shit like that, let me fuck you instead and get rid of whatever pain your are feeling. I swear it will not be all about me but you with me loving you and appreciating you - I swear! I swear! And If that's not what you want, tell me for God's sake and
I'll sure as hell try to give you what you need. Do you hear me or have I lost you. Speak to me Mariah...wake up....speak to me!"
*******************
The rest of the day Michael held Mariah's in his arms waking up now and then to check her breathing. He sensed if she didn't get help soon she she was going to die.
What he didn't know was when and how or why; all he knew was that she needed him at this moment in time and that in the next few days he would do whatever it took to get her in shape to meet her friends that were due to arrive Tuesday.
Mariah moaned and opened her eyes slightly. She drew closer to him saying:
"Michael please stay with me....."
He brushed her long straight golden locks from her face and murmured:
"I will sweetheart, I will. Rest! I'm here for you."
Mariah, managed a slight smile and in a barely audible
voice said:
"Stay with me - Help me make It through the night". (3)
*************************
Mariah went back to sleep in Michael's arms. He studied her sweet face and watched her closely.
Somewhere within himself was a knowing that he needed to be with her. WHAT was wrong didn't matter.
He only knew that he had to help her get
through the weekend so she would be in good shape to meet her friends on Tuesday.
Michael knew he'd fallen down over and over again when it came to being responsible but for this one strange weekend he was bound and determined he could deliver that he could at last help one other human being through a rough time.
He knew she was not his to have, only that she was loaned to him by fate and that he was getting to play the leading man for a few pages from Mariah's lifetime script. He was the leading man sharing the stage with Mariah and had been called upon by the gods to also be the director and help her make it through the night and the rest of the weekend.
*******************************
It was 9PM and room service closed in an hour.
Michael was hungry and figured Mariah needed nourishment, and hungry or not, she should eat
something, so he ordered a variety of food
for the two of them and two pots of green tea with lemon.
When the food came Michael laid it out on the
conference table and told Mariah she needed to come
over and eat some food with him.
Propping her exhausted body up with pillows Michael sat down next to her and told her she needed to eat.
Before long she began perking up and smiling at Michael's jokes. They took their time eating and gradually she began to open up finally telling Michael about her recent illness, three deaths in her family and her sexually troubled marriage.
Mariah had always believed her husband's problems were "medical" and that this was the reason he had little interest in sex.
For twelve years she had believed this and had
stayed faithful to him living with no sex except what she supplied to herself through masturbation. Then two weeks ago she discovered he was gay.
Partially relieved because she had always worried that perhaps there was something intrinsically wrong with HER, she was happy to find out that this wasn't the case that it wasn't another woman but a man instead.
It would have been hard for her to find out that another woman turned him on but that she couldn't.
At least this way, the grief wasn't as bad as it could have been.
Still there was another part of her that was angry mad as hell that she had sacrificed so many years of her life for no good reason when the truth would have set her free.
Michael listen intently to all she had to say but was still not certain he heard her correctly:
"Do you mean to tell me that you are married but have
no sex life with your husband...."
Mariah dropped her head and begin to weep as if she
had something to be ashamed of as if she were guilty of a crime of an undetermined nature.
Michael put his hand on hers and said:
"Lord Mariah, what a load you have been carrying around! I'm so sorry you've had to live like this. Did you ever consider leaving him?"
Mariah went on to explain that her husband kept saying to give him a little more time, that he needed to become stronger. To prove he was sincere he let her watch him masturbate himself a few times a year but that was all that ever happened.
Afterwords he would regret it. He'd say it was too much on him and that his health would pay for it later.
Essentially any attempt at sex would turn out to be "to little - too late" for either of them and not worth the effort it took.
After 5 years she told him she would stay married but that she no longer wanted to live "celibate" and that she wanted to be free to find sex outside of her marriage. He was hurt and said he couldn't handle it. The thought of his wife being with another man sexually was unthinkable to him, yet he refused to
go with her to a sex therapist.
He asked for still more time and said that he was getting stronger, to be patient and wait until his health returned.
Before long 10 years had gone by and the situation was still the same. Mariah went through much grief over the matter and eventually gave up trying to discuss it with him. She appeared to have no choice but to accept her fate, divorce him, or lie to him.
Mariah explained to Michael that her husband was good to her in every other way and that intellectually they were perfectly matched and got along great. She added that she could not imagine any one better for her and furthermore she truly loved her husband with all of her heart.
**********************
Michael asked Mariah if she had a legal pad. She pointed to her brief case and had him look inside.
He found it and placed it and a pen in front of her
saying:
"Why don't you write an outline for the purpose of writing a letter, one that would formulate your thoughts and ask for whatever it is that you want to have happen in your marriage."
Mariah wrote down the following:
1. Meet with my attorney and write a post-
nuptial agreement that spells out our situation
and makes it clear that he is gay and that sex
between us is no longer an option.
2. That beginning on this date I would no
longer be bound by sexual fidelity. He would be
free to find his own sexual happiness and I would
be also.
3. Work with legal council to draw up a one year renewable post-nuptial contract within 30 days that would be to our mutual advantage.
***************************
Feeling a sense of relief she showed it to Michael.
He nodded his head and said:
"Now what is your next step Mariah?"
She knew immediately what to do and said:
"I'm going down to the hotel lobby, put this in letter
form, have the concierge witness it, notarize it and
fax it to my husband's office. He will still be working. I will call him to make sure he watches for it and has some idea what to expect.
He told me before I left that I should do whatever I thought was best and that he would be supportive. I believe he will handle it well. Perhaps it will even be a relief. This whole thing has been hard on him also."
*****************
Mariah got up from the table, gave Michael a hug and
told him:
"I am going in the bathroom to get cleaned
up, put on some fresh clothes, and then go down to the concierge and complete this business. When I come back I will stop at your room and say goodnight. It has been a long day for both of us my friend."
****************************
Mariah called her husband to let him know what was on the way. She read the fax she was sending to him and asked if he was okay with it.
He responded by saying:
"I was expecting something like this. I feel relief you sorted it out. Please know I love you and appreciate you. I will go along with whatever will make you happy. We can get through this with flying colors you and me. I only regret I didn't tell you sooner and pray you will forgive me."
Mariah begin to shed tears of gratitude and relief. She told him thank you and that she would always love him very much.
****************************
As Mariah took the elevator back up she felt wonderful and could hardly wait to let Michael know she was free at last and that everything had gone well.
Michael was happy for her and gave her a big hug and kiss at the door and invited her in for a cup of "Sleepy Time Tea". However before the tea ever got made they were hungrily kissing on each other and Michael scooped her up into his arms and carrying her over to the king size bed they began playfully undressing each other and planting wet kisses in the process.
Mariah's nipples were erect and her puffy pussy was ached and throbbed for his manhood but first he knew he needed to bury his cock between her big full round breasts and pump them over and over.
Pushing her tits tightly together he penetrated the crack between them and moaned loudly as he fucked them hard and fast. Knowing if he continued he would cum prematurely he finished them off with wet kisses and proceeded to work his way down her body to fuck her tight little cunt with his long thick tongue. Pushing his cock gently against her lips she instinctively took him into her mouth out of gratitude.
She had never done this before but it wasn't rocket science and the only teacher she needed was beside her - inside her - showing her the way - driving her to heights of passion she had never known before.
Afraid he was going to cum Michael flipped her over so she was sitting on top of him her back arching
in antcipation. Supporting her hips he slid her up and down his steel hard cock so he could watch and she could control the changing rhythm.
Seeing the look on her face as she rode him and feeling the tight muscles of her cunt clamping down on his dick drove him so wild he had to soon slow her motions down to a slower pace and simply enjoy her pumping up and down on him over and over again while hearing her screams of pure joy that had been pent up deep inside her for over a decade.
As she rode up and down his shaft Michael began fingering her clit and soon reached over to his shave kit and produced a vibrating cock ring which he helped Mariah place down around his shaft, then he tried to fuck her but found he was so big he couldn't get it inside her.
He fished out his "cock oil" from the same kit and heavily coated her already soaked lips as well as his entire throbbing instrument.
Slowly but surely his huge cock found its way into her vagina and every time he pumped her, the cock ring at the end of his shaft hit her clit vibrating it and driving her wild into orgasm after orgasm making her holler out
"Fuck me; Oh fuck me; please fuck me, don't ever ever stop! OMG yes....yes...like that..."
She was beyond caring if the room was sound proof or not.
Finally Michael could take it no longer and warned her:
"I can't last much longer like this....I want to.......but I can't....OMG......I love fucking you.... tomorrow night you're getting it in the ass.......but tonight baby it is pussy all the way......ohhhhh......I'm coming Baby.....I'm cumming......cum with me .......cum with me.......OMG......OMG.......Fuck oh fuck......Let's go over that big one......cum with me now....over the big one...
ohhhhhhhhhhh.......Oh yes......Oh yes Baby, Oh yes!
"OOOHH! OOOHH!"OOOHH!"OOOHH!"OOOHH OHHHH!
AHHHHHH OOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!
Together they called out words with enough force to reach the heavens; words felt from the heart shouted forth in a way neither could comprehend. Cheering each other over Mt. Everest they finally collapsed into each others arms totally free and at peace.
*******************
Footnotes:
(1) She was glad to find that it was open again, however she was a bit disappointed that the theater's name had been changed. There was something magical contained in the name "Pantages" that the new name "Canon" couldn't conjure up in a million years.
(1B) I first heard the expression, "The Devil I know is better than the Devil I don't know!" from a minister
friend of mine who was counseling a Cajun man who ultimately decided against leaving his wife for a new woman he felt might turn out to be worse than the one he had. Where the expression originated from I do not know.
(2) Casa Loma - Toronto's Majestic Castle - Visit Canada's Majestic Castle, Casa Loma and step back in time to a period of European elegance and splendor. The former home of Canadian financier Sir Henry Pellatt, Canada's foremost castle is complete with decorated suites, secret passages, an 800-foot tunnel, towers, stables, and beautiful 5-acre estate gardens. Your admission also includes a documentary Sir Henry Pellatt Film and Audio Tour Casa Loma is open year-round. The Casa Loma Gardens are open 9:30 am-4:00 pm daily from May to the end of October and are included with your admission to Casa Loma.
(3) They each devoted the rest of their lives to serving in high level government offices. Hers running the county government and his on a national level where he became the most respected and longest serving Prime Minister of Canada.
(4) 'Help Me Make It Through The Night"
was written by Kris Kristopherson and Sung by
Sami Smith and others including Kristopherson.
(5) According to family history, George was the surgeon who performed the world's first successful broken neck operation where the patient survived.
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