You brought this on yourselves. You only encouraged me.
Maple syrup is not...repeat...not a lubricant.
Ass to mouth??? Who thinks these things up? And would a woman really be turned on by this?
Why do guys think if they send a picture of their dick to a woman, she's going to faint from the orgasms he thinks she's having when she opens it.
And if there is a woman who finds this exciting, please send me your email address. And oh.... will size matter??
Along those lines ladies, seriously, if you open a picture sent to you from a guy and it's his cock, do you think..."Oh yeah! I want this guy bad!"
On the other hand, naked pictures of women are always accepted by me. haaaa. Double standard? Of course!
The earth spins on its axis and we don't fly off into space, man.... are we lucky or what?
Why do women, who usually dress conservative, always wear the sluttiest outfits on Holloween. I mean, I like it and all, but I was just wondering.
Is it me? But men who never dance at weddings are always married to the ballroom dancers.
I'm wondering if George Costanza is right about women and funerals. That is, it's a great pick up spot. Of course, as long as it's not family your're hitting on. They all look so hot in black!
There's nothing like kissing the lips of a woman that is or has been crying. So incredibly soft. I think that's why make up sex is so hot.
And do some couples fight just to have make up sex? You think?
Women and musicians? I can tell you that I once got up in a bar, on a dare, and played the one song I know on a guitar, and it was one of the hottest nights of sex I ever had. Made me want to take piano lessons.
Does doing it in front of the dog make you kinky?
Why do most men fantasize about threesomes when most of them can't stay awake for more than five minutes after they cum? This includes me, by the way.
I know people who lower the radio in the car to see things they're driving past. I do...really.
What would you pay for pill that'll make you feel the way you do in the seconds before you cum?
I once saw a woman blow her horn at a shopping cart that was rolling down at her. The damn cart didn't stop and it slammed her right in the grill. She sat there waving her arms and cursing. You just cannot make this shit up.
Another favorite joke. This one is from Gilbert Godfrey.
An old Jewish man approached a prostitute, looked up and asked:
"So how much?"
"$ 200" said the prostitute looking down at the old man.
"OK!"
So they go to a hotel and pay for the room. When they get to the room the old man sits on the bed and the prostitute turns around and starts to undress. When she turns to the old man she sees him jerking off and actually just cuming.
She screams at him. "What the fuck are you doing?"
The old man looks at her and says:
"For $200 I'm gonna give you the easy one?"
Please stop me....please!
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Submitted by:
joeydonuts
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