My Friend Jessica
I have always considered myself always totally straight. Never thought I was sexually attracted to women. I did however notice that I loved the female form in art, statues and fashion even. I still love the male form as well. I never ever questioned my sexuality.
Over a time of about a year I met a husband and wife online. He told me his wife was bi-sexual and they had a good relationship and it was an open relationship. I thought about it of course, mainly because I am an armchair psychologist. I love to study people, their thought, opinions, feelings and actions. I also started talking to his wife as well, her name is Jessica. We hit it off immediately. I loved talking to her as much as I loved talking to her husband James. There was no sexual sparks from me for either of them and I didn't get the feeling that they had feelings for me either, well not except just a nice and easy going friendship. I loved chatting with them both and learning how their lives worked. The more I got to know them the more I learned that Jessica was living a partial lie. She no longer wanted to live a bi-sexual life. She had been coming out of her own closet slowly and surely and she wanted to live a life with a woman...and she and James had two children together. I thought how difficult that must be.
I had separated from my husband and was having my own issues. I wanted a sex life (which I had not had at home for a few years) yet at the same time I grew up in a religious home. One really could only have sex if one was married. I told myself I could have sex if I was engaged to be married. Well I ended up being engaged 6 times. Funny how we can make things ok when we want or need to huh! So I wanted and needed sex but I was married but separated and obviously not engaged. Talk about conflicted; no wonder I am an armchair psychologist.
I continued my talks with James and Jessica and as I got to know them I started becoming closer to Jessica. I did notice that but still it was a sisterhood relationship, and then one day she asked me if I ever thought about being with a woman. I told her I had not ever thought about it. Then she started chatting more openly about her feelings of being with a woman and shared with me quite extensively and as she told me of her feelings I found myself feeling a little short of breath, twinges in my nether regions and yes even getting wet. I was so shocked that I would feel those things and I didn't tell her. I couldn't tell her. Heck I could hardly admit it to myself. One day we were chatting and she blurted out that she couldn't help it and she could no longer deny it but that she has been very attracted to me, she wanted me. I was speechless literally and totally! I finally got up the strength to admit to her that I had started becoming attracted to her and feeling more than just a friendship stirring, although I still did not understand why or how. We became closer and more open chatting about our feelings and more comfortable. One day she asked me if I would consider meeting her and I said yes. Then she asked me if I would meet her for a weekend. She told me she didn't want me to feel pressure. We would rent a cabin and meet half way. We would meet as friends and just have fun and play it by ear, nothing had to happen except just enjoy a girls weekend...No pressure!
To be continued......
|
Submitted by:
stephieschoice
view profile
|
You have new unread mail messages!
Click here for your Inbox!
