I enter the house and I'm immediately confronted by a huge sign. "Hey studmuffin, I'm upstairs, naked, come and get me!" I look up the stairs and I see a trail of clothing. Your high heels, the skirt you had on when we left this morning. Next is the blouse, but it looks as if it was ripped off. I see the buttons lying on the steps and I notice that each buttonhole has a little tear in it. I'm getting both interested and excited at what awaits me up stairs. My member is growing , with each new discovery. Next I see your bra, and imagine that by the time you took it off, your nipples were hardened with pent up excitement. I imagine your breast swaying as you climbed the stairs with them unencumbered by your Victoria Secret. Then, at the top of the stairs, are your matching panties. They are the ones that barely cover you when you have them on. Now, they cover nothing but a tiny patch of rug. I can hear the sound of jazz coming from the bedroom. The door is just slightly open, and music is barely audible, but I hear it. What is that aroma? I say to myself. My brain processes the information quickly. Candles!! That's what I'm smelling, there are aroma candles burning in the room, and from what I can see now, the room is being lit by those very candles. I'm standing outside and I swallow hard. I reach up towards the top of the door and gently push it open, slowly, as erotically slowly as I can, to keep the moment. The door opens a little more, and I see that you've put the gold satin sheets on the bed. I can see your feet, covered by the top sheet. The sheets conform to the exact shape of your feet. The more the door opens, the more your body, concealed in the luxury of the satin is revealed to me. Your hips come into view next. I can almost see the crease of your body where your hips meet your pelvis. You know I'm there and you roll over on your back and splay out your legs invitingly. The aroma of the candles and the soft light that they give off, are beginning to drive me to where your plan for this moment was supposed to take me. My mind goes fuzzy with desire for you. Now I can see your stomach and the tell tale V , where the sheets are diving into the area I desire so much. I take my eyes off of this vision to take in what you did to the room. There are two dozen candles flickering in the early evening light. The gold satin of the sheets and matching comforter, make the room seem surreal. My eyes return to you as I pick up where I left off. You have the top of the sheet tucked under your arms and pulled tightly across your breasts. I can see your ample breasts and erect nipples pushing against the satin restraints. You turn slowly over onto you sexy, flat stomach, and the sheets now conform to the beautiful mounds of your perfect ass. You raise your ass up slowly, seductively, to make sure that the sheets seem form fitting and contour to your ass. You let the top sheet go, and it slips erotically down your back, exposing your naked shoulders and just a hint of breast that show from under your extended arms. You begin to air fuck the mattress. Up and down you move, slowly and sensuously. I think to myself how insane I am for you right at this moment. You lock eyes with me and slowly lick your lips. You move your body in perfect unison with the music you have on the player. More and more of your nakedness is coming into view. I love your back, the way your spine line moves down toward your ass. I follow it down until it disappears under the sheet that's now draping your ass perfectly. Finally you move your ass up and out until it's almost sitting on your calves. Your arms are outstretched over your head, and your beautiful face is now resting on one of your outstretched arms. You seductively lick your bicep, suggesting that it could be something else. I drop my jacket to the floor and remove my shirt. I unbuckle my dockers and let them drop, with my underwear to the floor. I put one knee on the bed and hesitate, so I can watch your act of seduction a little longer. Then suddenly, I see the sheet that covers your ass puff out a little. And then I hear the sound of leather being ripped. What is that I think I just heard? And then the smell hits me! it's ....it's....it's the smell of burnt rats! Burnt rats and grinded up old tires! You stop your movements and look at me with wide open eyes. You cover your mouth with your hands. My dick begins to shrivel as if a bucket of ice cold water has been thrown on it. My balls pull up inside me and are hiding behind my belly button. What the fuck was that? What was that? Did you just ....gulp...fart??? You apologize and tell me you had egg plant for lunch. From the whiff I got it smells like you ate a gas plant for lunch. I gag on the pungent odor and begin dry heaving toward the door. I stop and look over my shoulder at you. You look me in the eyes, pleadingly. I struggle to maintain my feet, and I look at you one more time. You're laughing! You're pumping the air like you just hit the game winning home run at the World Series. I'm incredulous! How could you be laughing at a time like this? And then, from somewhere inside me it starts. The thought of something smelling so horrible coming out of the most perfect ass I've ever seen hits the funny bone. I begin laughing too, which sends your laughter to a higher level, and then mine increases, until I'm on all fours, naked, testicles swinging in the night light, laughing until I'm coughing up blood. Minutes roll by and the two of us are now lying side by side laughing hysterically. You're the only woman I've known that knows the age old adage. And that is .....FART = FUNNY every goddamned time.
We regain our composure, and make love until the wee hours. I love you, I tell you. You my sweety are a guy with tits.
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Submitted by:
joeydonuts
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