My former college roommate says I'm a freak.
I tell him to fuck off then we both laugh.
He's married and I'm divorced, so I can be with different women (whenever I manage to find one who'll have me, which isn't too very often I'll admit).
When we talk on the phone he always wants to hear the details if I've been with a woman. I tell him he's a freak because he just wants to beat off while I tell him about something he's not free to do. He tells me to fuck off then we both laugh.
He says I have an unhealthy appetite or an obsession with eating pussy, therefore I MUST be some kind of freak.
I tell him he wouldn't think it was unhealthy if his wife let him do it more often, and if she would wiggle a little when he did, therefore he MUST be undersexed.
Keli was my kid's third grade teacher years ago.
Keli is not undersexed.
We bumped into each other at a TGIFriday's. Literally, we bumped into each other and I sloshed beer on her shirt--what women call a "top." (so where are you going to wear a shirt, on your bottom?)
She's divorced too and dangerously pretty.
Yada-yada, ten days later we're nekkid in her queen-sized bed.
It turns out Keli and I are a perfect match: I love to eat it, and she loves to put it out.
A lot of times we don't even fuck.
I told my roommate I bet I've had my face between her legs in more positions than he knows how to fuck in. He says I'm a freak, then he says, "Tell me more about Keli."
Well, she doesn't shave her pussy, which is nice because it reminds me of what things were like when I first started having sex.
She's very physical. When I'm eating her she works as hard as I do, pushing against me, grinding herself around and around in my face, sliding her wet self back and forth across my mouth.
She doesn't wrap her legs around my head much, she likes to spread herself wide. Sometimes she reaches up and holds her toes to keep her feet in the air and her legs apart.
My roommate says we both must be freaks, and I tell him if he ever heard the kind of moaning and groaning and dirty talk she does he'd ask Jesus to make him a freak too. She makes the hottest sex sounds I've ever heard in my life. One time she even shrieked. Scared the shit out of me.
Her fav position is getting on her knees and sitting on my face while she holds onto the headboard. That way she can get some leverage and move her ass around better. She loves to go squirmy-squirmy sitting on my mouth.
My roommate tells me she really sounds like a freak, and I can hear a bouncing sound in his voice and something slapping in the background.
My fav is eating her in public. Not where we might get caught, I'm not an idiot. Just doing it somewhere where people don't do that sort of thing, like in her car parked way on the far side of the huge lot at Wal-Mart (my ex got my car). She gets naked, then lays her seat back and puts her feet up on the edge of the seat. I get on the floor in front of her seat and put my head in between her smooth smooth thighs.
I say to my roommate, "Hey, freak, do you have the balls to do your wife in the car?"
He doesn't say anything, but I can hear him breathing so I know he's there.
Keli and I may very well have mastered the arts of eating and being eaten. We've done it at least twice on every piece of furniture in her apartment. Way more than 8 or 10 times on her breakfast table. It makes a lot of sense if you think about it: I just get her a couch pillow for her head, she puts her ass right at the edge of the table, and all I have to do is pull up a chair and grab her ankles. What could be more convenient?
(slap, slap, slap, slap)
(from over the phone) "FUUUUCK!!!!"