We all do it, think about that one person we know we cant have. We think about them when we touch ourselves, when we touch other people. We imagine what they taste like as we take a sip of whatever is in our glass when were sitting right beside them. When they reach out to touch our shoulder, or they come in for a hug, you feel your breath hitch and your heart pick up speed. We count the seconds, hoping that their hand or body will linger longer than the normal so and so seconds it takes for the action, but always lose hope again as they pull away after the normal amount of time.
He was always something I shouldn't. We were best friends, we trusted each other and helped each other through more than a couple heartaches. There were times, when my room was just across his that i would listen to him play his guitar. Often a soft, sad melodic tune that soon became my adult lullaby. I would stay up until he got home from work, just so i could go to sleep to hearing him play.
We would go to the bar together and he would always buy my drinks, but when we went home we always went to our separate bedrooms...until that night.
We had gotten home after a couple drinks, and we were laughing and were sitting on the countertops, talking about this guy that was trying to get me to come home with him. "You know you could have went home with him," he told me as he flicked his cigarette into the sink.
I looked down at the brown countertop and bit my lip. "No...no i couldn't. He uh...just wasn't my type. I looked up and saw him looking at me with his eyebrow raised.
"I don't know," he said, running his cigarette butt under water and throwing it away. "I'm not gay or anything but, he seemed like a pretty nice guy, good lookin too."
"Really?" I say, lighting a cigarette and inhaling sharply, trying to calm my nerves."I didn't really notice, i guess i was thinking about something else." I didn't look up, but i could feel the counter shake as he slid off of it. His finger's grasped my chin and made me look up at him. He was so much taller than me, but had ducked down so that he was close to my face. His blues eyes roamed over my face before they landed on my green ones.
"What were you thinking about then?" I opened my mouth to speak but didn't have the balls to back up my voice, so i shut it again and tried to look away, to no avail. "Do you want to know what i was thinking about?" He asked. I nodded slightly, feeling as if i had no power over my own body. He lowered his head more, his lips brushing softly over mine, giving me a chance to pull away but i didn't dare. He kissed me again, harder this time, and i found my body again, wrapping my arms around his neck, pulling him closer.
I never thought him to be a super strong guy but he picked me up like i was nothing and carried me into his room. We undressed each other in a hurry, but stopped suddenly when the clothes were gone. I was looking him over slowly, savoring the look of his nakedness. His eyes were on me as well, roaming over me as velvety as his hands soon were.
My skin burned for him, had been for such a long time that now that it was actually happening, i was shaking with the reality. I hadn't been nervous for sex for a long time but now i was like a virgin all over again. Wondering if i would be good enough for him, if i could please him in a way that would leave him wanting more. But then i remembered who i was...what i was. I was a sex goddess, or so my lover's had told me. I could make a man cum like he hadnt cum for months and beg for more. That's who i was, and i was going to show him that.
I sat up and reached for his hand, pulling him down to the bed. Flinging my leg over his hips i straddled him, giving him the full view of my perfect breasts. This was going to be something i made sure he would never forget...or so i thought. When i leaned down to kiss him he rushed for my mouth, but also for my wrists. Rolling in a jumble of legs and arms i was now back on my back, and a little confused. I tried to pull up but he held me tight. Thinking of my rape, i started to panic and begged him to let go.
"Look at me Always, I'm not going to do anything to hurt you. I want you badly but I will stop. I know what you do, I know you take control so you don't remember what happened to you but...i want you and all of you, not just what youre willing to give me for ten minutes." His words cut through my wave of fear and arousal and stilled my heart. Sex was fun, a means to an end yes but not...this. I almost said stop but i did look in his eyes and was lost all over again. I gave myself up to his soft kisses and his exploring hands, giving him all the control (something i was not used to doing at all).
He takes his time, his mouth making loved to my neck, shoulders, my aching breasts and when they had spread to the V between my legs, it took all i could not to push him away...i normally didn't let men do that. But his tongue...oh his tongue was magic, licking and swirling over places inside me that i didn't even know i had. With the help of his fingers it wasn't long until i bit my lower lip and dug my nails into his sheets with the intensity of the orgasm.
Clawing at his shoulders, i try to get him to come up to me, so that i can start stroking his cock, but he stops me. "I'm not done tasting you yet," he whispers as he goes down on me again, suckling my clit and and fingering my pussy in a rhythm that was almost too intoxicating.
Panting, i beg him to stop and fuck me, make love to me, whatever he wanted to call it i didnt care. With his fingers still in me he kissed up my stomach, back over my breasts then as his mouth met mine in a kiss he removed his fingers and thrust his hard eight inches deep into me. I screamed his name and my nails dug deep into his back. He whispered into my ear of how long he had wanted me, how he wanted to be inside me as i let him take total control.
His lips kissed my face, hair, and lips as he thrust in and out of me in strong sure strokes that sent me deeper into the oblivion of pleasure that he was putting me in. I couldnt take it, and soon i could feel that wonderful welling up sensation of another orgasm. "Oh yes sweetie, cum for again," he whispered into my ear. "I want you to cum again and again and...fuck...again. Jesus you have an amazingly tight body..." He moaned deeply into my ear and it drove me crazy. And soon i was cumming again. I had never before cum this much and was feeling delirious and exhausted, but when he stopped, i whimpered for more.
With his body still covering me, he withdrew from inside me and layed his head on my chest, which i had absently started stroking. "You were amazing," he said into my breasts and i giggled and answered "I didn't do anything." He looked up at me, with a look of shock on his face."That was amazing i know it wasnt all me. The way you responded to me, how your body moved with mine...it was beautiful."
We stopped talking after that, and spent the last of our time just looking at and nuzzling each other. And with his head on my chest, we fell asleep. But before i lost consciousness i could only think of one thing...that this was something we shouldnt...