Once upon a time I was in love. And it was scary and amazing and beautiful. It wound its warm tendrils around my heart and into my brain, leaving me an infected pup of the love bug. Even though it's a waste, and probably unhealthy, I believe that I am still in love. I know you're not supposed to say you're in love with a dead person, that it is cause for friends to worry and therapists to be called. But I can't help it. I still love him. It's been six months since the accident and I can still...I can still smell his cologne in the bathroom. I can still feel the sheets rustle as I'm drifting asleep; as if he is crawling into bed with me like he had for the past three years.
I woke up suddenly, my heart racing and tears rolling. He was here. I could have swore he... "I'm right here bebe." His voice broke the silence of our bedroom and my heart broke through my chest. I turned around and there he was, just as perfect as he was over six months ago. No matter how much he shaved he always had a dark five o clock shadow that made him look so devilishly handsome. My mouth was open and my chest heaved as I looked into his cobalt eyes. His hand reached out to my face and he cupped my cheek. The scar on his right thumb ran across my lips and breathed his name.
"William..." His other arm reached out to me and he pulled me into his hard, all too real chest. He was warm, breathing ...alive. When he dipped his head to kiss me I moaned into his mouth and buried my hands into his dark hair, pulling him even closer. He was blessedly naked and I ran my hands over every curve and muscle to re affirm that he was there with me and not in the ground.
He broke the kiss and cradled my head to his chest, ran his hands over my back and shoulders. "I've missed you so much bebe...so, so much." I wanted to answer him, to tell him I missed him too. I wanted to tell him I loved him more than the sun and demand that he never let me go again. But I couldn't use my voice and instead rekindled the kiss he had broken. As if by magic my nightgown was gone and his mouth was travelling over my breasts, my stomach, back to my neck. When he thrust into me, I cried his name without parting my lips and tears trailed down my cheeks as we met each other's needs, climbing up the stairs of paradise together until we reached the jumping point; we leaped into the abyss of love and pleasure.
I trailed my hands down his back, tightened my legs around his waist. He was there. He was really there. His kisses rained over my hair and face, over my forehead, cheeks, eyelids. I tried so hard to fight the drowsiness that was pulling me under, I tried to tell him to keep me awake, but still couldn't find my voice.
"Shhh, my sweet bebe. It's okay, let go. I love you so much my petite darlin'. Don't ever forget that." His hands brushed lovingly through my hair as I struggled desperately to stay awake. I wanted to tell him I loved him too. That I would not, could not ever love anyone the way I loved him. But sleep overtook me, and I drifted off quickly in his arms.
The bed was cold, and panic overtook me. I sat up quickly, wildly looking for him...but he was gone. "No...no!" I screamed as I threw my fists into my pillow. "You were here...I know you were, it was too real...you were here," I sobbed loudly, not even trying to stop the tears that poured over my blankets. "William," I begged, "Come back, please! Please bebe, please..." A light shot out from the corner of my bed and stopped me. Sniffling, I reached over and picked out the shiny metal. His wedding band. I had had it in my Jewelry box, so I wouldn't lose it, and now it was in bed. I held the ring to my chest, pressing its warmth into my chest. "Oh William..."
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Submitted by:
alwayswanting
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