Conditioned by many years of rising early for work, he had come to enjoy his time alone in the morning; it gave him opportunities to think. Unfortunately, his thoughts more and more often turn to wondering why, in a house full of people, he had come to feel more and more alone? Was he not living the American Dream? Did he not have the wife and 2.3 kids (well, 3, actually), the comfortable house in the far suburbs? Was he not well-regarded in his profession, and well-respected in his community? Having long ago succumbed to perusing adult dating sites, he was still confused as to why: was he really looking for another woman in totality, or was he just
always horny from the constant lack of meaningful sex? Or was there really a difference? He already understood that it was a lack of passion on the part of his wife that had led him to this point, but was it that he just needed physical passion, or something more? And how to make his wife discuss the issue, much less understand his feelings, was something he had started to give up on.
But he was also frustrated by the dating sites: so much of them were obviously set up to part unwary (and extremely horny) men from their money, and the one or two that were seemingly legitimate were primarily full of twenty-somethings; he just couldn't see himself hooking up with someone closer in age to his kids than to himself. He had long ago rejected the half-your-age-plus-seven rule, and had restricted himself to postings from women within 10 years of his own age, give or take.
He had never cheated before, but he otherwise maintained a sense of proper conduct and morailty. But given that, he had very rarely seen a listing worth answering -- too full of women looking for husbands, or baby-daddies, or who knows what --and the handful that he replied to just never seemed right. He had begun to lose faith, perhaps even believing he was alone in the way that he felt about things, when he noticed a listing entitled 'passion therapy.' "Well, that's different" he thought as he followed the link. 'Ann' had posted a short but powerful missive on how love encompasses the emotional, physical and intellectual, and her belief that we all just need a little passion on each of these levels. He read through, nodding in agreement with each of the points she had made. He began to compose a reply when he heard the kids moving around upstairs, and instead just shot off a quick note, logged off and removed all traces of his activity from the computer as he began another day in 'Paradise.'
He had forgotten about all of this until a few mornings later, when he logged on and saw a reply from 'Ann.' She expressed an interest in meeting for coffee or lunch to discuss some of the finer points of her ad and, after exchanging a few bits of information, they agreed to meet at a small cafe in a few days. Though he had never done this before, meeting in a public place made him feel a little safer, and besides, he often met potential clients this way. It was a large step, but one he could easily walk away from.
The day arrived and he left his office early, with equal parts anticipation and dread. While he certainly hoped she wasn't some wacko, at the very least he hoped she wasn't blonde - his personal tastes had just never run that way. Realizing that this flippant attitude was just a sign of nerves, he took a deep breath and started the car. Later, just as he had turned into the parking lot and pulled into a slot, he received a teasing text asking if he was going to stand her up? He lifted his eyes from his phone and looked around, and parked right next to him was a woman staring at her phone. He carefully replied "of course not - be right there" and almost laughed when he heard her phone buzz. He noted that her brown hair was in braids, and in profile had a somewhat cute face, but when she looked up from the phone and turned her head, he was instantly able to see the true beauty found only in those that abound with grace and dignity. But it was only when she smiled at him with a coy and unassuming look on her face, that he realized this was someone far beyond what he had ever expected to meet online; a truly sincere person, no matter what else she may be. A look that instantly put him at ease.
He smiled back and got out of the car, amused at the nervous way she fumbled her phone into her purse. They made their introductions and moved directly into the cafe, taking a seat in the back.
Awkward at first, the conversation very quickly became warm and familiar as the two shared a bit about themselves and their history and their goals in life. The conversation eventually turned to an airing of their lifes' frustrations, and their individual opinions on what made that so, and he was amazed not only at how similar their feelings were on the matter, but how easy it was to reveal these things to her. Which was not to say that they weren't nervous - the entire time they had sat there, Ann's fingers were in almost constant motion, shredding the paper wrapper on the straw, moving her cup from one side of the table to the other, but when she started folding and creasing the paper placemat he decided to head off any spontaneous confetti incidents and moved his hands across the table, palms up. Ann hesitated, staring at his hands for several moments, and then placed her hands in his.
The shock of her touch hit him like a bolt of lightning. He slowly raised his head to look at her, and in her eyes saw the same emotions returned. A smile broke slowly over her face and he realized exactly what she had meant by 'passion therapy' - it's not the physical release through orgasm, but rather the look, touch and other sure indications that shows that someone wants you.
That is what fulfills the soul, and us.
It was that simple.