TO ALL THE MEN I'VE LOVED (1)
To all the men I've loved before
Who travelled in and out my door
I'm glad they came along
I dedicate this song
To all the men I've loved before
To all the men I once addressed
And may I say I've met the best
For helping me to grow
I owe a lot I know
To all the men I've loved before.
************
This song plays in my head every once and
while as I marvel at how many men I have
"fallen in love with" over the years and now over
the past six months, on Velvet9 where I have been privileged to get to know men in ways I never had before.
It never occurred to me in everyday life that I
should have used the topic of sex as an
ice breaker.
Who would have ever guessed? Now that I am
in an environment where it is not only socially
correct to discuss erotica, but considered
impolite not to, I am learning all over again what
delightful creatures men can be conversationally
speaking. I am learning to love them in a new way.
Talking to men is common to me, I have always
enjoyed them intellectually, but in other ways
they seemed a bit dry and rigid. However I have recently learned if the topic of "sex" is brought up (which before seemed quite improper) they are transformed into to delightful little balls of putty; creatures filled with charm and colorful
conversation.
Heretofore, I only thought the topic of "money" did
that to them.
So what did I know? Not much I'm afraid.
In the beginning, I told myself V9 is simply a Sexual Fantasy Site where I could submit erotic stories if I wanted to, but I was fooling myself.
The truth is I had never written an erotic fantasy.
When I discovered the site I was looking for a cheap thrill, a bedtime erotic story that would enhance my nighttime pleasure.
Searching my home library I soon realized I owned nothing of that nature. Not even a trashy novel. I decided to search the internet. At first I was scarred to death to even type the words "Erotic Fantasy" into my virgin computer. Then when I came across a blurb in Google about Velvet Nine, I was terrified at the prospect of even bringing it up on the screen, leave alone signing up for membership.
The first night after reading a few stories, I became brave enough to talk to some woman who had insomnia. I attempted to have an intellectual conversation but I am sure she thought I was nuts before we disconnected. The next day feeling more confident I hooked up with a sweet sexy young
guy. I must have acted pretty wild. I don't
remember
much of what I said as I was pretty tipsy at
the time.
Being the faithful sort that I am, I stuck with him
for a few more times before getting a grip and realizing I had better end my new found imaginary love affair for his sake and mine too, after deciding
sexy chatting was not at all comfortable for me when sober. Yet to this day I adore him and he remains my "one and only" among a few almost "might have beens".
Since then I have written many stories
and discovered a score of wonderful people not much different from how I am.
I wasn't afraid of the women, but I was of the older men. After all, what kind of a man would come on to such a site?
I had no idea and was not sure I wanted to find out.
One thing I was pretty sure of was that I might read or write a story now and then but was not about to engage in any serious conversations with men. Little did I know that I would not only meet wonderful women, but good men also, ones that I would
eventually consider my friends.
Day by day my V9 men friends they teach me to be more tolerant of others and more understanding despite the days I go kicking and screaming over this or that doesn't seem fair. Like my V-9 mentor told me:
"If life was fair, I would live next door to you!"
*****************
Occasionally I am asked, are all of these plots yours? The vast majority of them are however - I do get
ideas for plots from others and have used them to craft original stories based on my own experiences.
I have done this with two men. The first one was a wonderful writer who suggested that he help me with
the final chapter of a three part story: "Turn Me On:
Grand Finale" that was my "Fokker Airplane" story
- heck I wouldn't even know what a Fooker was
had I not met this interesting well traveled man.
The second man who helped me, came up with creative plot ideas for a number of my stories. He was someone I would have never guessed could have help me at all. I would be happy to mention his name in order to give him due credit but he is modest and asked me not to. He has become a good platonic friend, a real treasure. And no, we don't sex chat! I adore and love him, but only as a dear friend.
The very first V-9 writer I EVER communicated with irritated me. He rubbed me the wrong way. Today I
call him my good friend and "Mentor". He has never helped me with a story but he helped me get over my fear of writing four letter words. Furthermore, his support and encouragement have helped me tremendously. He is fine human being and an excellent writer.
There was still another man. This one I wasn't crazy about at first and even took him off my hotlist for some crazy reason soon after I joined. He was so forgiving and gracious I quickly put him back on and today, I greatly value and appreciate him as a faithful
friend who has continuously given me encouragement and honest feedback. Again, a wonderful man.
One crazy guy here is like a big brother. He is always
poking me in the ribs. I poke him back. This guy yelled at me so much about me not putting enough sex in my stories that I finally started doing it just to keep him quiet. His good humor, advice and friendship has meant much to me. When he and two others took a "V-9 Vacation" it broke my heart. I never realized before how attached one can become to friends on Velvet 9.
Others I have met have also left their mark on my heart and soul; I have found them to be sensitive caring generous people both men and women. Two I have met more recently represent how "I want to be when I grow up"; they raise the bar for me as a writer and a person.
As I write this I think of several other good men I have had the pleasure to get to know, ones who have inspired me and continue to encourage me as friend and writer. All and all, I have decided I really like men.
I say these things not to "hang out my laundry" but
to encourage new people who may not yet realize the good that can be found here. You will note that all "my" men have all been platonic friends; this says a lot for them and not so much for me. Quite honestly my heart is filled up with love for them. (And yes, I would probably lust after one or more if I wasn't already in a committed relationship.)
*****************
So for all the men I've loved before, this tribute
is dedicated to you and the great women everywhere who have loved you well.
*****************
Footnotes:
(1) The above excerpt is an adaptation of:
"To All The Girls I've Loved Before"
Written by: Hal David; Albert Hammond
Performed by: Johnny Cash, Julio Igleias, Willie Nelson
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Submitted by:
Babe
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