This is true and very personal but I felt like I had to share it and see what everyone thought
I am a lesbian. I was so scared,when I told but it is who I am. There is no getting around it. I was 17 when everyone found out. I tried to tell myself that I was just making everything up. That I was not attracted to women at all. Then I found out that, I was just denying the truth.
I grew up in a very conservative Christian household. My step-dad was the youth pastor. My mom and step-dad where on the church's committee. I was the girl on the worship team that sang to God every wednesday. I was the one that everyone said "She is going to make a difference in this world for God". What a difference I made.
I am the church lesbian. I hear them talk about me in their whispering church voices. But I am the person I am and if you have a problem with that then you can answer to me. My mom had said several times before I told everyone that I was a lesbian that "All gays are going to hell". I was so scared to tell here my sexual orientation. I was her little girl. I was her favorite. I was going to let her down. I was her disappointment.
Why shouldn't I be a lesbian? Every man in my life had hurt me somehow. I have been raped,threatened, emotionally and physically abused. What did they expect?
Women were different. They got me. They held me the way I needed them to. They were gently and soft with me. Every touch was like magic. No man has ever been like towards me. Yes, men had looked at me with there eyes in that seductive way. Telling me that they wanted me, but I didn't want that. I will NEVER want just a hard fuck. I want love,and tenderness. I want someone to look at me with love and not lust.
I wanted to touch and be touched. I was a women that needed love. What was so wrong with that? I do not believe that God is so merciless that he would deny what I needed. I craved love and women gave it to me. I am a lesbian. If you have a problem with that you can answer to me.